I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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