I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
