he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
