once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You made out with two different species that night
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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