Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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