I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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