Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
