Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize