Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize