Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
