I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
