i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
