sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
