you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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