Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
