Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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