Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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