does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
