I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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