remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
