You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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