That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
