So drunk its hurt
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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