i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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