I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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