I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize