I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
