I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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