whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
