Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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