those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
