he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
