We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
