Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
