Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
