why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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