it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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