My room smells like vodka and shame
Swine flu. Run for my life!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
