OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
