I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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