Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
