I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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