Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
