After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
