Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
