You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You dont lie about slip and slides
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize