Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who died my cat blue again?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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