PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
