hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
actually, I'm a sock model
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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