The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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