After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love having hate sex.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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