I puked a lego.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
