I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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