I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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