Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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