Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
