im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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