Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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