she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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