Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
