We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
