Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pooping to opera.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
