Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
