you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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