new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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