I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
