You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
