last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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